The Philippines again showed to the entire world its uniqueness and unsurpassed sense of craziness when an aging Rambo-wannabe named Jun Ducat staged a hostage-taking incident last March 28 near the Manila City Hall.
This guy Ducat must have watched Rambo movies one too many as he really packed his “production” with lots of superstars – 26 pre-school children whose innocent looks could palpitate even a heart made of stone (which best described Ducat’s granite face), four unsuspecting teachers, action movie star Sen. Bong Revilla reprising his role as the heroic Pinoy cop, actor wannabe senatorial candidate Chavit Singson (who flew all the way from his Ilocos Sur hometown to lend a “helping hand” full of 500-peso bills which he later gave away to the kids), and a large cast of eager-beaver policemen and kibitzers.
Ducat also armed himself to the teeth – two grenades, an Uzi submachinegun, .45 caliber pistol, several cans of ice cream (which the police gave) and several arenolas (personal-size latrines) full of the hostages’ “stink-bombs”!
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When Ducat announced the hostage-taking on a scribbled note plastered on the windshield of the bus the children were on, the first ones to arrive to the rescue were -- not the cops -- but the legion of mediamen armed to the hilt with notepads, ballpens, cell phones, microphones and TV cameras!
The media guys were about to start a fight on who should be first to interview Ducat and his hostages when, finally and mercifully, the police came – with a whole army of kibitzers behind them!
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Asked what his demands were, Ducat told the police: Ice cream!
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The police forbade anyone from getting near the comandeered bus. And no one should talk to the hostage-taker except the police commander on the ground or his duly designated hostage negotiator as is the practice in most civilized parts of the world -- does the Philippines belong in that category?
Anyway, before the police could blow a whistle, Ducat was already hooked up with several radio stations giving interviews to every newscaster and his grandmother!
And when Bong Revilla came seemingly out of thin air, whoa! The police had to make an exception. The action hero was there to save the day for them – walking straight to the bus, boarding it and talking to Ducat who just happened to be someone he knew personally.
And then came Chavit. “If you let Bong talk to the hostage-taker, why can’t I?” Okay, okay, you go ahead, the police commander was forced to say, not wanting to antagonize an Ilocano in Malacanang’s good graces.
And so when Bong left the bus, it was Chavit’s turn to board the vehicle and talk to Ducat. But, unfortunately, some kibitzers thought Chavit looked like the bus conductor going back to check on the passengers’ tickets!
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In the end, after more than 10 hours of media hype that tied up traffic all over the city, Ducat finally surrendered apparently after running out of things to demand to the authorities who had granted all of his whims – lighted candles on the streets, loudspeakers hooked to his cellphone and of course the ice cream because it’s really hot that day!
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Poor Chavit, he thought he would win the best actor award in the Ducat hostage-taking saga with the final scene of him taking the grenade from Ducat’s hand as the highlight of the drama that would be played over and over on Philippine television. He probably thought that would earn him lots of votes.
Turned out Ducat was not that cooperative. In the police jail where he was brought, the self-proclaimed children’s champion turned children’s abductor only had nasty things to say about Chavit: a seven-letter word that starts with the first letter of his name and ends also with the last letter of his name. It sounds like the name of his former buddy Erap Estrada. No, it’s not “kor-erap”! But sounds like!
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